Those who break the rules are scum Those who abandon their friends are worse than scum
A curious fact about saying good-bye -
The increased kilometers between you and I
shortens the spacing of you in my mind.
How nice it’d be to take the time then,
to appreciate the silence in between the lines.
There is a certain state of mind I would never wish on anybody and it is one I have been suddenly struck by. It is simply an idea, the idea that the singular reason behind everything - and I mean absolutely everything - is selfishness. And not just the petty acts of selfishness that one can catch oneself doing, but the kind that is so deep it is perhaps rooted in our biology as a means of self-preservation. Through such distortion the resultant underlying truth behind every action and reaction is the concern for solely oneself. The term friends with benefits takes on a whole new meaning as all friends now collectively fall into the new definition, now defined as “a person or persons who are willing and capable of providing any service needed by an individual”. Whether it be conversation, consolation, money, sex, hugs, laughter, or lunch, the question is not the cost (unless it is a one time monetary deal, in which case such a transaction would probably save you from emotional ties with the person), but rather, “When will I get a return on my investment?” “When will all that time spent being your ‘friend’ pay off for me?” “What can you do for me that I can’t do for myself?” In other words, why do I need you around? I need you because you can give me something I want. Your intelligence. Your creativity. Your practicality. Because you make me feel better about myself. You cure my loneliness. Your body. Your love. Your acceptance of my need of someone to outlet my love to. Your gifts. Your appreciation of my gifts. Your help in accomplishing a task I could not do so alone. Your hobbies that are also mine. And the list goes on and on maybe even to the point where the selfish heart pumps blood to the body because it needs to keep its vessel alive so as to not die itself.
Such is the idea wrangling around in my head. It’s no surprise really, that such a revelation, if I should even call it so, would spring forth. Sometimes all you need is a catalyst when the reagents are already present. When friends talk behind each others’ backs, it’s only a matter of time before you turn around to check your own. When the only hole in a surefire plan is the possibility of a friend defecting, everything becomes a game of the prisoner’s dilemma. When friends belittle one another over a supposedly fun time, you start to question where they stand. And all this leads to the simple, terrible idea, a conclusion from which I seek respite and with a cloudy mind am desperately trying not to accept. Yet even then, putting these thoughts into a physical form is conceivably my own act of selfishness.
"I can only promise you a snowflake’s kiss," you said.
The frosted winter snow lazily rappelled off the red plumed sky
onto the mittens you wove for me, fitting snug like our interlocked fingers.
Our percolating warmth melted the snow on the bench as
the leafless arms of the onlookers swayed to the rhythm of our heart.
I remember the taste of spearmint at the corner of your lips,
how they tasted of a slight tinge of happiness
and a hint of hope.
So we trekked on, stamping footprints in the snow
in the shape of a parallel line held together by a feeling
otherwise known as the magic zipper.
But as the seasons fade, so too do spells,
and our story unfolded, retracing its steps,
backpedaling in one moment, melting away in the next
until one day disappearing without a trace -
like a snowflake’s kiss.
ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?
During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”
The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?”
In all seriousness, she answered “How did you know?”
“Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.” replied the author.
Here’s the answer:
Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.
People in love sometimes say, I was swept of my feet. Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this)
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.
Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.
Remember this always: the universe determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go!
This valentines Day card speaks for our generation
And that’s exactly why it’s sad. I don’t want this. I don’t want confusing “are we” “are we not” … I want “You’re beautiful, thank you for being mine today, and possibly tomorrow and so forth, I love you, here’s a card reassuring you that I do.”
WHERE ARE YOU POEPLE LIKE THAT :(
"I can get my head turned by a good-looking guy as much as the next girl. But sexy doesn’t impress me. Smart impresses me, strength of character impresses me. But most of all, I am impressed by kindness. Kindness, I think, comes from learning hard lessons well, from falling and picking yourself up. It comes from surviving failure and loss. It implies an understanding of the human condition, forgives its many flaws and quirks. When I see that in someone, it fills me with admiration."- Lisa Unger, Beautiful Lies (via creatingaquietmind)